I am the Queen of Vanilla Sex
I never thought I’d been the queen of anything. Then 50 Shades of Grey came along.
One of the great things about being a writer is talking to people about books. Everyone wants to know what you read and what you like. I’m a notorious book whisperer. I give books to strangers on the street.
Last summer in New York, a lady noticed my Romance of America conference badge in Times Square. “I’ve never read one of those books.” She had that superior tone, but I could tell she was curious. I reached into my bag and handed her my signed copy of The Devil Wears Plaid by Teresa Medeiros. Terry signed that book to me, and I gave it to a stranger! I’d rather give it away, than have someone miss out on the pleasure of reading one of those books.
Recently, a few of friends brought me into their 50 Shades of Grey debate. One hated it. One wasn’t sure about it. One loved it. The one who loved it, really loved it. I decided to try it. So I read. And then I avoided reading it. Then I read some more. Here is the verdict:
I didn’t dislike the book for the graphic sex or bad writing. I disliked the book because it portrayed vanilla sex as bad. (Note: Vanilla sex is regular sex, nothing freaky.)
Just because I don’t want some mean man to tie me up and spank me, I’m boring? I am not boring…wait….I am totally and completely boring. I am the Queen of Vanilla Sex. I am the Queen of Vanilla Extract. I am the Queen of Vanilla Ice Cream and Pudding. I blush when my husband adjusts his tie.
Now everywhere I go people want to know how sexy are my stories? Sexy? Heck, yeah. Vanilla Sexy. I love vanilla. It is my duty as writer and reader to defend vanilla sex.
Vanilla is the second most expensive spice in the world. The word vanilla comes from the Spanish word “vainilla” meaning sheath. It is a diminutive of the Latin word ”vaina” meaning vagina. Ha! Vagina. I said vagina. How boring is that? Not boring, at all. It is sexy!
No one is ever going to swoon because my hero adjusted his tie. Or might they?
The world is full of people like the “Those Books” Lady, me – The Queen of Vanilla Sex, and you – Spanky McSpank.
Can you recall a scene from a novel you read that was really sexy, without involving sex? Are you a writer who is willing to take the challenge to write outside of your comfort zone? Maybe more sweet? Maybe more sexy? I’ll take the more sexy challenge, but below I will reveal my favorite “sex scenes” for some of my novels.
Elliot looked up. He didn’t seem happy or unhappy to see her. After a moment he returned to chopping parsley. She started breathing again when she realized that a slight smile touched his lips. – Wait For Midnight
She worked the sixth spot on the teller line, and the distance made it impossible to see her face. He recognized her hands as they slipped under the partition to retrieve cash and a deposit slip. At the sight of her skin and delicate fingers, he imagined the legs of a dancer. Conrad watched the way her fingers moved independently of each other in dainty little kicks. He would never tell her such a thing because she might mistake his meaning. They were beautiful hands, and he had the unfortunate pleasure of holding them once, the day her husband died. –Pine
Graham stood abruptly and cleared the bowls as he left. She appreciated the gesture, because he wasn’t the type of man to leave behind loose ends. – All Beautiful Things
The firefly opened and closed its wings. Winter was coming, and we shouldn’t have seen a firefly in October. Now there was another thing that would die on Aaron’s birthday. He blew on the firefly to encourage it to take flight, and with his lips still puckered he leaned down and placed them on mine. When he parted his lips there was the warmth of his tongue and the iciness of my unexpected inhale. I tried to remember all the things Miss Eloise told me about dating and kissing that morning.
Keep your hands to your side.
Remember to breathe.
Think of Spain. –Pine
Can you write 50 words that create a sense of sexy? Post your thoughts in the comments! Extra points if you mention vanilla. Happy writing and reading.
Nicki Salcedo writes literary fiction and romance. She a graduate of Stanford University with a degree in English and Creative Writing and. She is a member of Romance Writers of America® and a past President of Georgia Romance Writers. Nicki has received the Maggie Award of Excellence twice for her manuscripts “Pine” and “All Beautiful Things.” She is a 2012 Golden Heart® Awards Finalist in the Single Title category for her manuscript “All Beautiful Things.”
Nicki has written about parenting for the Decatur.Patch.com, because somehow having four kids makes you an expert. This is so far from the truth. She’s also blogged with the Petit Fours and Hot Tamales. An excerpt of her novel “Pine” can be found on her website 8headedhydra.com.